kjwriteleft.com

Jerks have been a common appearance throughout history and continue to thrive in today's society. There are numerous categories of 'jerk' and we will discuss them here today. Perhaps you are a jerk? Maybe we are all jerks sometimes?

The oxford dictionary defines Jerk as:

a contemptibly foolish person.

OR

the raising of a barbell above the head from shoulder level by an abrupt straightening of the arms and legs.

Road Jerks

With the increase in cars on the roads it seems that a new variety of jerk is emerging: the lane jumper. This species of jerk acts almost like that old 'frogger' game, never content to choose a lane and stick with it, it will weave in and out of the traffic. Sometimes these "hopper jerks" (as they are commonly called) conflict with the mating habits of other sub species of the "road jerk" family. Such as the other lane related species called "elderlus lanehoggis", which commonly refuses to change from the inside lane and can usually cause negative reactions from the hopper jerk. Elderlus Lanhoggis also is called a "Drifting Jerk" because of their tendency to forget to watch their direction and drift slightly into every surrounding lane.

Office Jerks

With the modern era comes another new breed of jerk called "Office Jerks", these come in a variety of forms including "Kissius Assius", commonly called the "Brown Nosed Jerk" commonly identified by a small brown patch on the tip of their nose. These sub-species also conflict with other office jerks, mainly because (like the road jerks) they reside in a confined environment referred to as a "den" or "warren". The brown nosed jerk causes nervouse reactions from office jerks such as the loud mouth jerk, as the brown nosed jerk will report to the "alpha jerk" or the "boss jerk" as they are commonly referred. This species of jerk seems to be the leader of the warren or office and exert some influence on all of the other species of office jerks.

Historical Jerks

Much of histories wars have been fought between opposing clans of jerks. Jerks such as Napoleon, Hitler, Stalin and others were known for their "jerk status". This means that when a jerk reaches a certain status all other jerks in the nearby cities and countryside will gather waving pieces of cloth and chanting mindlessly in support of a new jerk leader. This is often heard or commonly smelt by other leader jerks who then rally their jerks. This is what happened with the outbreak of World War Two. Hitler became a new leader jerk, which showed the smelling ability of Churchill (all the way over in England) as he smelt this competitor and thus began another in a long line of jerk wars.

I hope this short guide to the common jerk has been helpful and that you may identify some of the amazing and diverse species of jerks we now have in the world. It is vital that we preserve these species in the name of bio-diversity and maintain their unique environments.

http://kjwriteleft.com/beta