I am glad that I have slowed down working on creative writing because I really couldn’t make this up. A billionaire (the world’s richest man, Jeff Bezos) has launched themselves into space (well, the very edge of it anyway) on a rocket that looks like it’s been purposely designed to look like a giant penis.
Obviously all rockets are phallic in their own ways, but this one is even more so because it has accentuated the ‘tip’. While we all know billionaires are dicks, it takes a special one to show the world how oblivious they are to their obscene wealth by riding a giant white dick into space along with an old lady and a couple of other people.
Richard Branson is also a dick. He sent himself into space without really going into space. Falling short of the generally agreed upon point where space begins. Jeff Bezos’ giant cock however fully penetrated space, and let’s be honest, has probably upset any aliens that watch over our little blue planet.
Perhaps the saddest part of all of this is that ordinary people actually applaud these “achievements”. It’s not like these billionaires build any of this themselves, they simply pay much smarter people than them to build it.
I hope that this was an engineer’s way of tricking Jeff Bezos into riding a space cock. I really do. “Oh yes Mr Bezos, we call the module ‘the bell end’ and are using the name ‘purple-headed warrior’ for the craft while it is in development”.
So if you’re sitting there clapping at these achievements remember, you won’t ever go on any of these flights. They’re only for the rich. I guess so they can get a clearer view of the Earth that they so expertly rape and pillage in order to further their own fortunes.
This cock rocket is a powerful symbol of what the rich intend to do to space: exactly what they have done to Earth – fuck it.
Unfortunately, Jeff Bezos’ nob landed safely, there was no glorious explosion, no climax of an incinerated billionaire.